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<須藤 直子> マメ知識!*自分を映す鏡*

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こんにちは。

カウンセラーの須藤直子です。


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どうして、この人はこんな言い方しかできないのだろう? と思うような人がいます。

この場合の「この人」とは、相手を不快な気分にさせ、立腹させたり、はたまた相手の立場や気持ちを考えず、自分の憂さを晴らすためにその言動で相手を傷つけてしまう人のことを指します。

誰にでも1人や2人、自分が苦手とする人がいると思いますが、私はまさに、「どうして、この人は・・・」というようなちょっと拘りの強い?独断の強い?タイプの人を苦手に思ってしまいますね。

その人の言動にいちいち傷ついていた時期もあり、それが思わずムカッとくる怒りに変わり、最後には怒りすら通り越して半ば呆れてその人を見るようになりました。

「ああ、また言ってる、言ってる」という風に。

きっと何を言ってもその人の言動は直らないんだろうな、と思います。

もともとの性質というものが大部分で、あとは環境の賜物!?なのかもしれません。

類は友を呼ぶというように、きっとその人の周りには当然その人と同じような性質の人が集まっている、ということは簡単に想像がつきます。


大切なことは、その人の言動に振り回されすぎてはいけない、ということです。

何をされても言われても受け入れられればいいのですが、それぞれに感情を持っているので、「受け入れるしかない」と思っていても易々とその通りにできるわけではないですよね。

私ももちろん同じです。

頭では分かっていることでも、いざ行動にできるかっていうと躊躇してしまうのです。


私は、最近こう考えています。

もし相手に不快な気分にさせられ、立腹させられるようなことがあったら、自分も同じように誰かに対してそんな振舞いをしていないか、そんな言動で傷つけていないか、ということを思いはせてみるようになりました。

すると思い当たることが・・・これはとっても恥ずかしいことなのですが、やはり相手は「自分を映す鏡」なのでしょうね。

思わず反省させられて自分も言動には十分注意しようと誓いを立てさせられたり(笑)

これはちょっと「ムリヤリ」のような気がしますが、こんな風に意味づけることで、新たな気づきが生まれることもあります。

自身の言動には十分気をつけたいものですね。


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